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| Solving Baby Slep Problems - The Ferber Method |
By:
Debbie Walker |
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Nothing can prepare new parents for the mind numbing weariness
that comes with lack of sleep. A new baby may be tiny but the
havoc they wreak to your sleep is huge. It can take work to
establish good sleeping habits. One of the hardest things for
your baby is to learn to fall asleep on his own.
I firmly believe that parents need to reclaim their evenings.
Babies and young children need to go to bed at a reasonable
hour so that you can enjoy some adult time (Even if that just
means crashing out on the sofa in front of the TV) What you
don't want is to be running up and downstairs all evening in
response to the baby monitor!
Baby is used to falling asleep with a parent. It may be
tempting to rock that crying baby to sleep - it may seem
quicker but in the long run you are not helping your baby to
learn that sleep is something he needs to do alone.
If you establish a bedtime routine which you stick to every
night and after several months your baby will still not fall
asleep you might like to try the Ferber Method. Dr. Richard
Ferber sets out a schedule that will gradually encourage your
baby to sleep without you. This will include getting off to
sleep in the first place but will have a knock on effect if
baby wakes up during the night.
If you decide to try the Ferber Method choose a time when you
can afford to loose some sleep. It will take a couple of weeks
of hard work but the rewards will be long term and permanent.
Essentially the Ferber method encourages you to gradually wean
your baby from falling asleep with a parent. It does involve
listening to your baby cry - so steal yourself to this.
The first night you put your baby to bed as usual (a calm
bedtime routine is essential) Baby should
be sleepy but still awake when you put him down (You want him
to fall asleep alone - not in your arms)
Leave the room. When baby starts to cry (as he inevitably will)
sit it out for 5 minutes. After 5 minutes return to the bedroom
and soothe baby. You must not pick him up or rock him - just a
gentle stroke or pat so that he knows you are close by. Leave
the room again and this time wait 10 minutes before you return.
Again sooth but do not pick up baby. Leave again and this time
wait 15 minutes.
Make 15 minutes the maximum wait time for the rest of the
night. Return to the bedroom - sooth and leave. During one of
the 15 minutes he will fall asleep.
On the second night start with a ten minute wait and work up to
20 minutes.
On the third night start with a 15 minutes and work up to 25
Each night increase the times by 5 minutes.
These time intervals are not cast in stone - make them smaller
if you wish but it's really important that you don't cave. It
can seem heartbreaking to listen to your baby cry. But you are
close by, it's a plan not indifference.
I used the Ferber method with my daughter, when she was a
toddler. We had not experienced sleep problems when she was a
baby in a crib. The difficulties started when we transferred
her to a bed. The night time "pantomime" got more and more
elaborate as she extended the time I was in the room with her.
She used every trick in the book to get me back into her
bedroom and to delay the time when she settled down to sleep.
By the time I came across Dr Ferber's book I was desperate. It
was taking longer and longer every night to get her off to
sleep but I wasn't prepared for how hard it would be to leave
my daughter to cry. In fact most times I was sitting on the
stairs crying too. My husband encouraged me stick at it and I'm
glad that we did. It really did just take a couple of weeks to
set up a pattern that lasted all through her childhood. I found
that I could spend some enjoyable bedtimes, reading stories etc,
confident that when I said "goodnight" she would snuggle down
and go to sleep without any fuss
About The Author: Lack of sleep is the one of the hardest
aspect of new parenthood. Getting baby off to sleep can be a
major headache. The primary goal is to get baby off to sleep
quickly - and to sleep safely through the night. Debbie Walker
runs http://www.sleep-baby-sleep.com an advice website. You
will find articles and products to help with all aspects of baby sleep. |
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